Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact or advances in which sex is used as a weapon. Sexual assault can be physical and/or verbal. This includes rape (more on what that is below), molestation or any unwanted sexual touching or groping, as well as sexual harassment including catcalls, obscene phone calls, or inappropriate comments of a sexual manner. The terms rape and sexual assault are often used to mean the same thing, but while sexual assault includes rape, it also encompasses much more. Sexual assault is rarely about sex; it is about dominance, power, and violence over the victim.

When the word molestation is used, it is often preceded by the word "child." Molestation occurs when someone--either an adult or even another child has any kind of sexual contact with another individual. Child molestation occurs when an individual sees a child as a sexual object and advances on this idea. It is a form of sexual assault/abuse. It includes fondling or masturbation of the victim or the abuser, sexual kissing, or forced exposure to sexual media. While it is natural for children to explore their bodies, a line can be crossed when a child is forced or coerced into doing something they do not want to do.

Rape is defined as the unwanted penetration of the victim's body (oral, anal, vaginal) by any object or part of the assailant's body.

The word "rape" comes from the Latin word "rapere" meaning to steal, seize, or carry away. The act of raping is essentially "stealing" sex from the victim.

Rape can be in the from of threat, physical force, or intimidation of the victim. The perpetrator uses these tools in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification.

Rape is a non-consenual sexual act. If you did no agree to the act, it was non-consensual. Consent is given when both parties actively and verbally agree. SILENCE DOES NOT MEAN CONSENT, and NO MEANS NO.

There are horrible and untrue myths that if someone was raped they were asking for it. This is NOT true! No one asks to be raped!

There is not a typical profile for a rape victim. Young or old, male or female - all can be victims of rape.

If you were raped, it is not your fault. Whatever you did, you were not asking for it. Whatever happened, YOU DID NOT DESERVE TO BE RAPED!

Rape can happen anywhere, anytime, with anyone. There is myth of the stranger jumping out of a dark alley. While this is always a possibility, it can also happen with a date, a friend, or a family member. It can happen at the mall, at a party, of even in your own home. Instigators can be of any age, sex, color, or creed.

"Sometimes I feel insane about the whole thing. I feel I should be completely over the assault."

This is not something one can simply wake up one morning and say, "Okay, I'm over it" and move on with their life. There is no true/real losure with rape; there is only dealing with it. It is something that must be faced or else it will consume you. I know that after I was raped I thought it was my fault. I denied forthe longest time that the rape had ever even occrued; I told myself it had all just been a bad dream. There are so many emotions that one goes through after something like this. I was angry, I was hurt, and I was ashamed. I felt as though I had a sign on my forehead that told everyone what had just happened to me. A sign that flashed the word "victim". I was so afraid that everyone around already knew and that I was constantly being judged. I know now that I am the only one whoe judgement matters.

Survivors classically experience four stages as they go through the healing process. These stages are not always obvious or straightforward. A survivor may be experiencing two stages at once, may find themselves returning to a previous stage, or my fix on only one stage, finding him or herself trapped in that stage.

The Crisis State - The Denial Stage - The Depression Stage - The Resolution Stage

The Crisis Stage
The Crisis Stage usually occurs in the time immediately following the rape. During this time, the victim can experience many emotions including, but not limited to anger, guilt, fear, and depression - or the survivor may seem completely fine and calm. This does not mean that they have suffered less; it simply means that they have a different way of coping. The victim may also show physical signs of stress, such as nausea and headaches or general aches and pains. During this time, the victim may want to talk about what happened, or they may not. The victim may want to be hugged or comforted, or they may avoid physical contact altogether. Either way, friends and family members should be supportive and the victim should not be forced to talk or hug if they don't want to.

The Denial Stage
The Denial Stage is just what it sounds like. Denial is an often-used defense mechanism. The victim may tell him or herself that the rape never happened as a way to avoid dealing with it; there is no need to deal with something that never happened.

The Depression Stage
During the Depression Stage, the victim is coming to terms with what happened. Sadness, fear, and anger are very common. The victim may turn to food, drugs, or alcohol to try to cope with what happened. Talking about the experience is very helpful to get over the depression and allows the victim to accept what has happened.

The Resolution Stage
During the Resolution Stage, the victim starts resolving their feelings about themselves and their experience. This is the stage in which the victim becomes a survivor. The focus is no longer on the past, but on the future. The survivor may latch on to a friend or authority figure for security and/or inspiration. This can help survivors get a better sense of self and set goals for the future. The survivor accepts that the sexual assault happened but no longer lets it control their life.

DO Accept what they say as truth.
DON'T Ask questions that tend to belittle the situation such as: What were you wearing? Did it really happen the way you say it did? These types of questions tend to cause the victim to feel isolated.
DO encourage the victim to get immediate medical attention.
DON'T encourage the victim to take any action that may accidentally cause destruction or the loss of any evidence of the rape such as “take a shower, you will feel better”.
DO encourage the victim to seek emotional help from a professional counselor.
DO emphasize to the victim the need to empower themselves through taking back control of their lives.
DO aide victims with guidance if asked.
DON'T hassle the victim to talk. They will talk when they are ready.